L'ECKLECT® Conversations: Suicide//What's The Matter?

Suicide has to be among the world’s most dreadful conversation, that and death in general, but especially suicide because many people know their many different opinions on if it’s wrong or right. Personally I’m not here to state if something as serious as ending a life is right or wrong but I want to state that it is something very serious, which deserves to be talked about and frequently too. In our African culture it is always hard to talk about such things, and many of us still leave that as a good enough excuse to sweep it all under the rug.

I’m going to start by giving a personal reference so that we all understand what level I am on and what may be the reason to my arguments throughout this talk. I haven’t always been a very strong person, even physically but I held off this persona that I’m well put together, even as early as Primary School. And for this reason I’ve never thought that I might need to deal properly with my problems, and when it eventually hit me that I actually might really need to deal properly with my problems I had such a heavy weight to my heart. At that point I wasn’t able to think rationally half the time; I came so close to suicide that I could literally feel life being dripped down from me. It was like I was the only person with that level on intensity of human emotions, there was nobody to talk to…the conversation would end somewhere around, “Why do you wish so much for white people problems?” so I tended not bother so much.

Many of us never think about the underlying motivations of suicidal people, and because you’d never been to that point I guess it’s easy to make all kinds of judgmental speculations and assumptions. I now understand life better I would never advice anyone for suicide, as though people who get suicidal even need or take advice, but only saying. I say this because when you’re at that low point in your life where you’re certain taking your own life is the only solution, the world has completely faded and the slightest sounds you hear is the dizzying bells in your head. Some people continue to function more normally than others but some just stay in the same place and let themselves rot away in that space they choose. I often wonder how all my suicide attempts always failed, and now I know that it’s because 1. I’m a coward and 2. Perhaps I stayed here so I put together something like this that can help people make sense of things…looked at from a clearer perspective.

A suicidal could be anyone, because honestly, we’re private beings…what you exhibit to the world isn’t exactly how it is on the inside. This is me speaking to the inner most imperfect you. Life can pass by so fast, part of the reason people are in such a hurry to leave is that they think too much about oh precious life. I mean so what if you have just one human life to live? I mean, do you have any idea how long a day alone is if you savor every moment? And most people have lived many- many days. One shouldn’t allow their human existence disrupt their eternal spiritual tranquility. This to a person who is already suicidal should sound like some pretentious mambo-jambo, but I’m speaking of it because I have been there. Life might as well be like going to watch your favorite movie and suicide is when you leave the cinema early. You’ve left and this will not put your thoughts at rest about the rest of the movie, sometimes even as the movie is going not too great it could change…just like that! I think this is good enough faith to live by.

Don't take this the wrong way just because I say that sometime one ought to sympathize with people with mental health problem that may lead them to think that life may no longer be worth living doesn't mean I say it is okay or not okay. I am nobody's keeper. We're not machines that need some high configuration state. Any human is in full exercise of their freewill and so it really is up to all of us. If there any good you can pick from this... vas-y!



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